RSS事业
May 25
一个很久不见的师兄跟我说，“你快大三啦，事业前途重要……”。
突然很是感触，事业，一个久违的词儿。
上来两年，斗志似乎已经被磨光了，当年的什么雄心大志就随着那本《无机化学》一起尘封在不知哪里的角落里。
当我沉醉于那所谓幸福的生活，事业渐渐离我而去；
当我习惯于过去和现在所谓颓废的日子，事业早已被我遗忘得一干二净。
来大学是干嘛的，是啊，是干嘛的？
好像每个人都要来的一样，好像每个人都要走完这无聊的四年的一样。四年过去了，或是找份工作养家糊口，或是继续不知干嘛地去考研了。但是为什么还要继续走过着四年，或许我早就应该去找份工作的，说不定来了机遇，现在已经聚了老婆，生了孩子，生活在一个中康、甚至是大康的家庭里了。
但我终究还是在这里了，终究还是在宿舍电脑前操着鼠标重复着每天一样地茫无目的地机械运动，终究还在为无聊的事烦恼着。
难道这是宿命，但依稀记得这条路是自己选择的。
不想每天7点55分才起来，然后看看手机，然后继续睡去……
不想再看着满满的课程表，考虑这节课到底该不该去，想不想去，而后发现已经过了上课时间……
不想到自修室，拿起书，看了几页，然后趴下睡着，醒来发现旁边只有一两个人……
不想每天都像行尸走肉似的在课堂上发呆，然后中午拿着4块散钱去阿伯那里买便当，然后回来花上2分钟时间消化掉，然后爬上床去闭上眼睛告诉自己快睡觉，然后听见催命的广播声音，然后被告知六点已过，发现在睡梦中上了分布式计算实验课……
不想到了考试才开始翻开像刚刚买来的书，然后通宵几宿……
不想每天还充满着希望，希望可以回到过去，希望幸福可以回来……
不想时间从指间溜走，而幸福擦身而过……
不想只是怀念，也希望可以相见……
不想没有朋友，不想被忽略，不想被讨厌……
不想说放弃就放弃，但发现自己无能为力，发现自己很渺小……
不想每天强颜欢笑，不想挂着一张虚伪的脸……
不想过着颓废的生活，虽然知道，颓废也是一种美，一种坚强……
也许，一切还来得及吧……
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