误入歧途?

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发现自己做出的选择没有几个是对的,总是容易随波逐流,容易被左右。这也许跟没有坚定的目标有关。本来既然决定踏上IT这条路,就应该好好规划,这条路应该怎么走,但反观本科这四年,却是碌碌无为。客观原因是有的,比如到第三学期才转去计算机学院,接受所谓的科班教育,所以实际上学计算机课程的时间也就一年半时间(大四一年都没课)。即便之前窃以为已经有了一些计算机的知识,一年半的学习,也只能把我推到IT大殿的门口。而主观原因却是最主要的,那就是抱着应试的心态来学习,造成的恶果便是,非常薄弱的理论基础。于是便开始走进一条“恶性”循环:既然理论基础太差,自己又不是能够安静地待在实验室的人,就往应用发展吧;既然搞应用,就别理会那些烦人的理论了,留待别人去做,自己只管将理论应用到实践就好了。这种认识使自己对理论产生了恐惧、厌烦的心理。对做理论研究的先入为主的认识便成了:做理论研究是非常烦人的,我不愿看到那一大堆莫名其妙的数学符号。

于是便决定自己往应用的方向发展,一方面是自己确实比较喜欢做些实际应用的东西;另一方面,也是根本性的,那就是自己的理论底子太弱了。所以当时转专业的时候也就自然而然地选择了网络工程,因为它偏应用一些。保研的时候,当然也往这方向走了。但是,读了研才知道,其实不管是理论还是应用专业,研究的东西大同小异。而且关键是,不管做理论还是应用,理论知识都显得尤为重要,一切都离不开理论的支撑。即便是做应用,拿着别人的理论说事儿,总觉得底气不足,即使应用做得再好,也不会有自豪感,因为你只是实现了人家的东西而已。所以,重要的是对自己方向的研究对象能够有足够的认识,能够提出新的理论或改进优化已有的理论,那才是自己的东西。

这种心态的不同,或许跟学校有关?华工是比较注重应用的,而中大这边则是理论。在中大到处可见ACM牛人,实在自惭形秽。华工则没有这种氛围,而是应用方面做得稍微好一些。当然,环境是一个影响因素,但方向的确定主要还是靠自身的理解和认知。

这段时间以来,我愈发觉得理论基础实在太重要了,理论基础好的人,做什么事儿应该都是得心应手的,而且是很有优势的。就拿ACM来说,可以这么说吧,只要你是ACM牛人,IT大公司可以随便进。所以我发现自己一开始就走错了,应该更注重理论基础的学习。或许,高考填自愿的时候,我应该选择数学方向的。但高中对未来的认识还很肤浅,数学没怎么学好,倒是物理搞了几年竞赛,但到头来也只能拿个全国三等,也是碌碌无为。

之所以有这番感慨,跟最近的算法作业有些关系。就是要写一篇自己方向上的算法综述,当时就懵了,不知从何下手,自己的算法基础很差,而且不太关注这方面的发展,对自己方向研究的对象还没有十分深刻的认识,只停留在概念阶段。所以写的综述里面完全没有自己的思想,只是大概列举介绍了已有的一些非常经典的算法。

但不管怎么样,即便现在有了新的认识,时间也不可能重头再来,目前唯一能做的就是赶紧捡起落下的理论知识。

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